There's only one way...

Two Make A Thing Go Right

2011-05-22T17:58:00.000-07:00

It was a cool, damp morning; a mist in the air. You could just feel the excitment! And also the chaos. A new start and finish; a new course.

Again I was not nervous. Not even anxious. This time, I was worried. I felt unprepared. I had missed/skipped twenty days of running during my training. And since I am my own worst enemy, I had put doubt in my mind that I would either not be able to finish the 13.1 miles or that I would finish worse than I did at the River Run.

In the end though, I PR'd by twelve minutes!!!

I ran the first two miles and the last two miles; the rest were 18r3w. Which was the perfect combination; it felt good and gave me confidence along the way.
It was good to return to the Rite Aid again; to see the sights and hear the sounds. Although I did run with my ipod for the first time in a race, I made sure that the volume was always at my fingertips, because it is wonderful to hear the cheers, music, and encouragement from the neighborhoods along the way. The turnout and cooperation of the residents always amazes me!

Looking back, I think I should have run the Full; simply because I missed out on the rest of the course, especially running along the lakeshore. However, since I did miss so much of my training, I'm glad I only did the Half.

I'm looking forward to the Full in Columbus in the fall. I have already begun to prepare my mind for how I am going to approach my training over the summer. I will definitely be more diligent when it comes to getting all the running in. I don't want to have to worry about finishing or my time (too much); I want to be able to enjoy the 26.2 miles through my old college campus and the surrounding neighborhoods.

I must say, my brother was right...supplemental classes at the gym and working out at home, really did help me to finish and improve my time, although I didn't believe him. I also can't believe that it has been a whole year since I ran the Full! I'm glad that I've keep up on staying active and that I was able to participate again this year. Next up, The Warrior Dash!

A Hand Gun and A Grenade

2011-04-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

It has been several months since I've blogged, although I've often thought about it, it just hasn't been necessary. Until now.

Since my last blog, I have stayed active and kept a routine. That's exactly what I was hoping for when I first got inspired to train for a marathon. I've kept the weight off and have participated in a lot of different activities to keep from getting bored while staying fit. I won't rehash what I do to keep on track, that's what my training logs are for, but I will say that I do something everyday.

More recently, I've been training for the Rite Aid Cleveland Half Marathon; and it hasn't been good. The weather has been very uncooperative, I was sick, and as always, taking on too much and over-doing it, which doesn't always allow me to get out for a run. Hence why I've finally decided to sit down and blog again. It helped me get through training before and allowed me to exercise the demons that plague my mind when I prepare for a 'race'; so I'm giving it another try.

I know that my finess level is drastically better than it was when I first started 'running', but it still doesn't make me feel any better about the thirteen miles coming up in a month. I think to myself, "I've finished 26miles, I've finished 13miles", but it still doesn't change the fact that I don't yet feel prepared for the half. I know I will finish, but I want to finish better than I did at the River Run. That's the black cloud that keeps me from feeling confident about the timing of this race. The spinning and hiking will help the cardio aspect, but I simply have to get more running and more mileage in inorder to feel better about 'running' the 'race'.

Everything There Is a Season

2010-09-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

The River Run Half Marathon was awesome! I'm so glad that my brother and sister-in-law suggested it! It was a beautiful course and I really enjoyed the race.

Mile 1-3, I ran.
The next two miles I ran 10minutes, walked 5minutes.
The remaining 8.1 miles, I ran 10minutes, walked 2minutes, and sometimes skipped the walking all together.

I PR'd by 20minutes!!! At the half of the full Cleveland Marathon, my time was 2:58:50, but I finished the River Run in 2:38:21! I couldn't believe it! I was very proud of myself...and it felt so good!

I was a little stiff and sore, but nothing like I was after the full marathon. Shorter distance and better fitness made all the difference!

My family was there, showing their support and cheering me on. TJ even made me a sign and yelled for me everytime he saw me; at one point he was chasing behind me and even commented on how cute I looked. It was adorable :) Thanks for being there, guys!

I have and will continue running. Even though the next big race I will be training for isn't until May'11, I will keep at it 2-3 times a week, along with walking or hiking 2-3 times a week. I'm looking into some shorter distance races (PigSkin Classic) and 'fun' races (Warrior Dash), so we'll see what's next. I'm also going to cardio, kickboxing, weightlifting and yoga classes 3-4 times a week. I'll be sad to put my bike away for the season, but I'll be happy to be out crushing leaves beneath my feet and trekking through snow drifts!

Mid-November will mark one year from when this all began. It will be good to look back at my blogs, notes, and training logs to see how far I've come and how much I've changed. I know I need a whole new wardrobe, but I'm keeping away from the scale, because I'm happy where I'm at! I'll jump on it when it's time to reflect on my journey.

Crescent Moon

2010-09-11T18:30:00.000-07:00

The eve of the half-marathon is upon me and I almost went to bed without mentioning it! Just like the marathon, I'm not nervous. Just anxious. I have an idea as to what to expect, but it's all irrelevant.

My goal is to finish.

And I'd like to finish in under 2:58:50.

The other thoughts I have about this race are hazy; I'm tired, need my rest, and honestly just don't want to think about it anymore. I just want to get out there and attempt to conquer the latest challege I've placed infront of me.

Everything else can be reflected on at the finish line.

Video Killed the Radio Star

2010-08-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a long time.
Mainly because the marathon is over.
But also because I'm doing all of the same things in preparation for the half-marathon. And I feel like people are tired of hearing about my training. So this is a reminder to myself that this blog and my training are for me. No one else.

I've been training for the Berea River Run Half Marathon since mid-June. Ralking or Running five days a week is a lot different for a working girl. And so is taking four classes a week. And working out at home 2-3days a week. Good thing I was unemployed while training for the marathon! Ha.

I did finally hit the wall though. I kept waiting for it while training for the marathon and it never happened. But two weeks ago, it did. I totally bonked during a 5w20r10w15r5w. I made it through 5w15r...and then had a meltdown. (Granted it was a million degrees out at noon and after I had a class and an hour of weights, but still.) I really beat myself up about it. I recovered the next day and was able to go out and tackle the workout. Plus, my brother had some very encouraging and soothing words, as always. And reminded me not to over do it, as always. I can't help that I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.

Now during my training for the marathon, I had ITBand issues; which I ignored and worked through...but I'm now dealing with a pinched nerve in my neck and some unresolved lower back concerns. Neither of which have yet to physically effect my training, but until my next Dr. visit, the thought of their existance, weighs on me mentally. Although, until I feel or am told differently, I will keep on with my program and training. I look forward to the River Run; mostly because my brother suggested it and my sister-in-law loves the beautiful course, but also because I don't want to be a one hit wonder.

Marco...

2010-06-29T10:33:00.001-07:00

Vacation was great!
Now back to running.
Since the marathon, I've taken a break from my structured and scheduled running and have just been having fun; walking, running, and even biking, whenever. But I have recently committed to The River Run Half Marathon in September and begin my training today! (Thanks Tim!)

I'm really excited to be back on a program! To have a goal everyday. To be able to put check-marks in boxes again. To see what other changes my body will undergo.

I recently finished my first round of p90x. Down 27pounds and 4pants sizes since November; I feel great! I even felt great in my bathing suit! (Thanks Mom!) I felt confident. I'm proud of myself. I'm relieved that I found something that is continuing to motivate me to be active. To get and stay in shape. To make me happy! That's all I want.

The program for the half is similar to the one for the full; fartleks five days a week with some biking mixed in. But with p90x being over, and TurboJam only three days a week, I am going to work on my arms and abs on off-TurboJam days.

That should continue to keep me happy for awhile longer :)

No news is...No news

2010-06-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in awhile because, well honestly, there is not much to write about...

My first Ralk after the marathon wasn't bad. It mentally took everything I had in me to get back out there. It took me 17days to put my running shoes back on and actually run. Not walk. Not bike. But run.
The legs felt good. The knees a little stiff. The lungs functioned as well as could be expected in the heat and humidity.

I much prefer to walk or bike, but I've been trying to mix it up.

I 'ran' a marathon, but I'm not a runner. It's so much easier for me to have a running program to follow and check-off, than it is for me to wake up and say "hey, I'm going to go for a run today!" Instead I get on the bike for three miles or go for a walk.

There is hope for me yet...
Andrea and I are teaming up for The Winking Lizard Shot In The Dark Two-Person/Two-Mile Team Event in July.
In September I am going to attempt The River Run Half Marathon, although I haven't officially registered yet.
I'm still deciding on what to do for the Race For The Cure. It's either the competitive 5K Run, 5K Race/Walk, or 1-Mile Walk; depends on what my Mom does ;)
And I think I am definitely going to participate in the Cleveland Marathon again next May.

That should get me and keep me running for awhile, especaily because my brother will have a program for me to follow and check-off. Ha. Yay for OCD!

This Friday is my last day of p90x. I don't know about posting any pictures, but I will write about my transformation thus far...

Chuck Norris Never Ran A Marathon

2010-05-31T08:10:00.001-07:00

Post-marathon week was pretty boring. I layed around stiff, sore, and immobile. The most exercise I got, was walking to the end of my street and back. WooHoo.

I was feeling like myself again by Thursday, but took a full week off.

Monday I started back to the old routine. Sort of.
I am back to TurboJam (3days/week). Finally. Yay! I missed that class. And those girls!
I have 15 days of p90x left (4days/week).
I am walking OR running OR biking 3miles (5days/week).
I have also started a stability ball routine (2days/week).

I am considering The River Run Half Marathon. And debating on how I want to participate in this year's Race For The Cure. Aside from that, I'm just staying active...

Take a bow

2010-05-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

T H A N K Y O U to all of my family and friends who supported me during my training.

I'd like to give a special shout-out to:

My husband, Bill Singer, who put up with me and financed me
My brother, Tim Budic, who coached me
My parents, Frank & Michele Budic, who believed me
Michele Oldani, who inspired me
Second Sole in Rocky River, who outfitted me
Angela Giangiacomo, who walked and p90x'd with me
Andrea Hommel, who walked with me and introduced me to TurboJam
Carolyn Stuhler, who biked with me
Laurie Minarch, who medically advised me
The girls at TurboJam, who 'jammed with me

and every and anyone who played a role in getting me across the finish line!

Thank you!

The Cleveland Experience

2010-05-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it! I finished my first marathon!!!

Miles 1-20 were not bad at all. I was running 10minutes and walking 5minutes.
Mile 6, I took a port-o-potty break.
Mile 6, I had to remove my shoe and sock because one of my toes exploded.
Mile 11, I took a port-o-potty break.
Mile 13, I was on a six hour pace and feeling on top of the world!
Mile 15, a Kenyan ran past me, I assume during his cool down, and gave me a pat on the back, a thumbs up, and wished me luck! :)
Mile 16, I walked.
Mile 19, I took a port-o-potty break.
Miles 20-24, were torture!!! My legs felt like lead jello. My thighs down, were garbage. I was spent. I definitely walked more than I ran. Actually, I think I barely ran at all. I just couldn't get my feet high enough off the ground to get myself to run. Every time my watch alerted me to run, I cursed at it.
Mile 23, I called my Hubby to let him know where I was...he met me at Mile 24 and encouraged me to try and run a little. We started with running 5minutes and walking 5minutes.
Mile 26, I was relieved!!! Granted I still had 385feet to go, but I was almost there!!! I told Hubby to go on ahead and to wait for me at the finish line.

When I headed into the shoot, there were no other runners around. And everyone was cheering for me! Yelling. Screaming. Cheering. Clapping. I saw my Dad. Then my Mom and Brother. Then Bill. Then the young lady who had to put the medal around my stinky, sweaty neck. Then the water bottle girl. And then, it was over. I was done.

I felt SO good!!! I cannot even describe the feeling I had. It was amazing!
I was proud. Shocked. Happy. Sad. Impressed. Relieved. Hurting.

I relaxed a little and then made the painful trek to the car. To the shower. To bed.

...
When I was told that I would go through every human emotion that day, I was skeptical. I was never once nervous, so I doubted what I would and wouldn't feel during those 26miles.
Mile 1, I'm really doing this.
Mile 3, I saw my Brother...he did a run-by to check on me while pacing my sister-in-law...After seeing him, I felt motivated.
Mile 6, my toe blew up and I remember thinking that I have to run with even more blisters on my feet now!
Mile 10, double-digit mile marker, Baby! Oh! Yeah!
Mile 13, I saw my parents and Bill...and cried. And poor Bill had to chase after me with a banana. It made me laugh. I felt loved. Heck I was half-way there! I also felt like, hmmm, maybe I should've just run the half-marathon. Ha.
Mile 16, was right along the lake. I felt that I should try and enjoy this experience a little, so I walked it. Nice breeze. Nice view. It felt good. I thought, I could so do this again!
Mile 20, pain. Anger.
Mile 21, suffering. Annoyed.
Mile 23, doubt. Bored.
Mile 24, I felt grateful that my Hubby found me! I needed that!
Mile 25, the end is near!

When I first caught glimpse of the finish line, I was in such disbelief! Mile after mile, people in their yards or on steet corners, had been telling me that I was almost there. Never once did I believe them. Not until I actually saw it for myself. It was a most glorious sight!!!

You know what else was amazing? The people. Cheering all along the way. For friends, for family, for strangers. High-fives, music, and creative signs were everywhere to motivate the runners on their way.

I teared up on and off alot during the miles; each time for a different emotion. It was a most powerful and spiritual experience.

It was also SO good seeing all different types of people participating. During my training, I was constantly trying to define who a 'runner' was and what one looked like, knowing that I wasn't one. Seeing all the shapes, sizes, and fitness levels really drove it home for me. I felt so comfortable being surrounded by those that I never would've pegged for being a runner. Especially after the herd thinned out at the half; it was a wonder to see who I would be sharing the second half with!

I barely spoke to anyone. I was in the zone. I spoke when spoken to, but honestly, I was 'enjoying' my time with myself. Alone in a crowd of 15,000. It was AWESOME!!!

My Results:
Distance- Marathon, 26.2miles
Clock Time- 06:25:35
Chip Time- 06:19:36
Overall Place- 2282 / 11541
Gender Place- 848 / 6433
Division Place- 154 / 1133
Age Grade- 35.9%
Pace- 14:28.9
Split 10K- 1:25:49
Half- 2:58:53
Split 30K- 4:17:10

As I lay here today, still sore, still stiff, still in pain, and still full of pride; I think that I will continue running. I think I will continue to run five days a week. Maybe three miles a day. Maybe look into running some 5ks. And maybe, just maybe, I'll try the 26.2miles all over again next year!!?

The Grace of Goats

2010-05-15T16:29:00.000-07:00

It's the eve of the 'race'...and I'm not nervous. Which scares me a little bit.
I could however, cry any second for no reason other than the fact that I am relieved that this day is finally here!!!

The Health and Fitness Expo was decent. Small. But it was good to get immersed in the world of a runner for a little while.

I'm packed and ready to go!
Let's do this already!!!
7am will be here before I know it!

Goal: 06h:30m:00s

Reward: Beer. Blizzard from Dairy Queen. Bathtub full of ice.

Halfway Gone

2010-05-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday is fast approaching! Eek.

It has been a nice recovery week so far. The legs felt like lead on Monday, but the lungs felt good. Yesterday and today were both great Ralks. Felt good, no problems.

Not that I've been checking, because I said I wouldn't, but the weather looks good for the 16th. Comfortable. I hope it stays that way!!!

Aside from looking forward to the actual 'race', I'm looking forward to eating for the marathon! Pasta and protein; yum-o!

Confessions Part II

2010-05-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

One week to go!!!

I can't even begin to describe how I feel. What I'm thinking. What I expect.
I can't because, I really don't want to. I don't want to share. I've done so much of this on my own, that I really don't want to open up about it. That, and the fact that I'm afraid of whatever feelings, thoughts, and expectations I have!

I don't even want to write this.

...but I figured since there is only a week left, that I should. That maybe it will be a helpful outlet...

Here is what I will say:
Since my training has stared, my back has only been sore on two runs. That's it. Two.
Since my training has started, I have developed a nagging, on & off IT-band discomfort. Nothing I can't handle. Ibuprofen, ice, and a knee band have been helpful.

Neither of those issues, (nor my blistered up big toes) will deter me in anyway. (Especially now that my sister-in-law gave me a toe condom! Thanks :) The only reason for mentioning these things is for my preservation of the process and experience.

No pain, No gain. Cliché, but true.

This recovery week will give me a lot of down time! A lot of time to think. To feel. To review expectations. None of which I'm ready to face. I am however, just ready to get out there and gooo...

Like Sand Through The Hourglass

2010-04-29T06:26:00.000-07:00

Got 100minutes in last week. It was long. Rough. And even though I walked 10minutes out of the 100, I still made sure that I ran 100minutes. Felt good. 120minutes on-tap this week. I think I'll take that run to the park; my little neighborhood is getting a bit small for these lengthier runs.

Got new shoes!!! Same ones I've been running in, just new! And just in time! My feet, toes, blisters, and even knees were begining to ache everytime I laced up. Don't have to worry about those ache and pains anymore! I also don't have to run with a kitchen timer or an app on my iPod anymore, because I have graduated to an actual running watch! Oh! the things this watch can do! (and those things I will never need it to do. Ha.) The most important, is that it has a two-interval timer that works great for Ralks and FartLeks. I tested it out yesterday, laying on the couch, reading through three pages of instructions in three languages. Good time! (Ha. Get it?! Good time! Ha. Anyways...)

Today is my last day of TurboJam until after the marathon. I love that class and those girls. I'll miss them, but when I return, I hope to be able to tell them that I completed a marathon! Hubby is happy that 'Jam is on-hold because he'll get to see more of me in the evenings; I'm worried I'll have to cook dinner more! HaHa.

So for the next couple of weeks leading up to the 'race', it will be only walking, running, and p90x.

On a side note: I reached my goal weight. It was kind of a lack-luster moment. I think I will be more impressed with myself when 1) the marathon is over and 2) my stomach gets in better shape.

Apples to Potatoes

2010-04-21T15:50:00.000-07:00

I need to learn to change my perception of what a runner looks like.
I need to stop comparing myself to other runners.

...anywho...I had a nice 40minute run the other day. I actually thought of it as a 'short' run. Oh! the insanity. Which is nice, knowing I have a 100minute run on-tap for this weekend. Eek.

I bought a watch. Finally. It functions, but I must say, that I prefer my kitchen timer instead. The kitchen timer is much easier to use for Fartleks, but I will adapt.

Went to several Target stores over the last couple of days in search of the perfect and most comfortable sleeveless top to wear for the 'race'...and I found it! All I need to complete my attire for the day is a new pair of shoes. And a more comfortable sports-bra...

My tumor-like blister finally deflated, so I am completely pain-free now! Ha.

No more close-call emotional moments at four weeks out, although my running pen pal in California sent me an email that took me on an emotional roller coaster. Needless to say, it covered a wide variety of running related topics, some made me laugh and others, cry.

A treat for the mind, the eyes, and the spirit.

2010-04-17T09:27:00.000-07:00

It's down to thirty days now. I can't wait until the day gets here!

I just want it to be here. Then I just want it to be over.

Training has been good. I got my schedule for the weeks leading up to the big day. I have several long runs ahead of me. And a few weeks with no TurboJam :( I already gave up EA Active Workouts, but will continue p90x during the final weeks of training; day 60 is tomorrow!

Several weeks ago, I fell in love with running. I enjoyed it. I was enjoying myself. I felt comfortable and content. I looked forward to getting out each day for a run, regardless of the length or weather. Now, some days I feel that it is just something else on my to-do list. Some days I feel like I can't make it, that I won't be able to do it. Some days I let phantom pangs slow me down...because really, aside from some awful blisters, I've been ache and pain free. (knock on wood) Some days I just put it off until the last possible minute of daylight. And on those days, I practice motivating myself. Thinking positive thoughts or about inspirational images. Which is good; I need to practice mentally for the big day, as well as, physically! But, other days are great and I say to myself, "I hope for this weather and this kind of run, on 'race' day!"

I can't wait to cross the finish line so I can rekindle my love affair with running.

I've been trying to prepare myself for the big day, without getting scared. I want to know things, but not too much. I've tried reading books, but have returned them to the library, unopened. I've asked questions and heard stories, but really I just want to go in unknowing, with my eyes wide open.

I'm going to watch "Spirit of the Marathon"...I heard that it is a decent film that provides an idea of what to expect, along with a little motivation. And really that's all I need.

Plug Your Fingers Into The Sky

2010-04-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

When I first started writing this blog, I did it for me. As an outlet. So if I don't write very often, it's simply because I don't have anything interesting to say. Once I get my training block for the days leading up to the marathon, I'm sure I will have more to contribute...

I lost two more pounds. Down 16 total now. I wish that pounds came off of my body from where I wanted it to come off. Why does my body get to choose where that weight comes from? I'm doing all the hard work, I should get to pick. Sadly, I know it doesn't work that way, so I'll be happy with the results so far and simply work harder to tone up the rest.

Nearly had a sobbing breakdown during a run last week, but I actually talked myself out of it. Since then I have done a little light reading on visualization and being in the present; having positive images or phrases in mind to allow oneself to continue on. One day I will share my phrases...and one simple image, that since I first laid eyes on it on March 24th, it is all I ever see everytime I imagine 'race' day.

On the nutrition front, things have been good. I am incorporating protein, fruits and veggies into my diet, while still enjoying the foods I love! Even 'cheat eating' days don't seem so bad with a good workout or solid run either before or after a day of grazing.

And since spring has sprung, I am looking forward to adding some miles on the bike to my training schedule. The weather, although early April, has been nice, it no longer has me looking forward to running on hot, humid summer days. The few mild, even warm days that I put some miles in, were scorchers! I was sweating. And panting. I'll take a run in snow and 18* any day! ...and that's exactly the forecast I'm hoping for on May 16th. Ha.

The Cleveland Experience

2010-04-01T06:48:00.000-07:00

I officially registered for the Rite Aid Cleveland Marathon. (Finally.) Eek.

...by Jack Handy

2010-03-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd be writing this with only a few days left until the marathon, but here I am with fifty-two to go. FIFTY-TWO!!! And I am already SO anxious. Not nervious. Not yet. Just anxious. I want it to be here already. I want to enjoy the experience. I want to try. I want to cross the finish line.

Last week I was kind of emotional about this venture of mine. And I'm not usually an emotional girl. Usually. I don't know what my 'problem' is?!

Anyways, let's not dwell on that...I reached another milestone of 70minutes. This week I will be tackling 80minutes. WooHoo. It's A LOT now, but still doesn't seem all that significant when I will be running for several hours. SEVERAL HOURS!!! Craziness.

Soon I will have to abandon EA Active for a short time. I've been doing the Six Week Challenge: on six weeks/off one week, but I think as the race nears, I'm just going to focus on my training, p90x, and TurboJam. Somethings gotta give. Rest and recovery are important. I'm trying to learn that. I had to have my brother reassure me that it was OK to take one day (ONE DAY) off of everything. EVERYTHING. First day since mid-November that I did not do one single workout. It was a challenge. I beat myself up. I cried. And honestly, I didn't feel as well as I thought I would after a day off; I think it was all mental. Mental, as in I'm mental and have OCD. I have a schedule and a checklist and I must obey. Now that's craziness.

So it's back to the grind. Thankfully.

I'm also trying to convince myself that I am not a Kenyan. And I won't be the only non-Kenyan running the marathon. My brother says that there will be more people running 'like me' than like the elite. I hope so. And I do believe him, a little; I'll just have to see for myself. It'll be my first race afterall. (Unless my brother can convince me to pick up a 5k before then; he's been trying.)

Goal: Complete the Rite Aid Cleveland marathon. Cross the finish line.

That's it. That's all I want. That's all I want for me. Everything else (the way I feel about myself, my body, the weightloss, the tone and definition) is just a bonus. Now, if I can just continuously remind myself of that...

NOTE: My inspiration, we'll call her Bib #20917, just completed her first marathon. Her results are listed below:
Clock Time 06:23:16
Chip Time 06:09:23
Overall Place 16578 / 22484
Gender Place 6006 / 9173
Division Place 1034 / 1379
Congratulations, Girl! I'm so proud!

Screenwriter's Blues

2010-03-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

My inspiration is running the L.A. Marathon tomorrow and I will be with her every step of the way. (http://www.lamarathon.com/runner-info/race-day-tracking/) Her and I have been communicating about all of the ups and downs that come with 'learning to run' (for the first time, in our mid-thirties). We both agree that it is not easy and that we both want to cross the finish line with 26.2 miles under our belts. I'm confident that she will be successful and that she will do great in reaching her goal!

So, tomorrow while I'm enjoying (sarcasm) a 70minute FartLek, she will be validating the reason why I have so much pride and admiration for what she is doing and she will be encouraging me to continue to hope that I can accomplish the same thing in mid-May.

Willing, searching for Ready and Able...

2010-03-12T06:28:00.000-08:00

The other day my Husband looks at me and says "I'm only telling you this because I love you...Can I be honest with you? You are not going to be ready to run a marathon in two months." He's a Realist. And he's just preparing me for what may happen: I may not be ready. But more than that, I think he is worried about me being disappointed. That and having to deal with me if I'm not ready. Ha.

As the day nears, I constantly remind myself that it IS possible. I also remind myself that if I'm not ready, it's not the end of the world. Or my training. The whole reason I was inspired to do this, was to improve myself. To motivate myself. To feel better about myself.
And, I am feeling better about myself. I see myself differently. I feel differently. And my clothes fit differently. I have lost a total of fourteen pounds from when I was my heaviest; nine of those pounds since I started training mid-November. I have gained muscle, tone, and definition. I am active. I am enjoying the freedom of running. The experience. The transformation.

When the marathon happens, I will be prepared mentally and physically. If the marathon doesn't happen, I will be prepared mentally and physically. There will be no disappointment. I know that I have come a long way...and I know that I still have a long way to go.

Success is more than riches, fame, and things that we possess; material things can be enjoyed, but don't buy happiness. Success is reaching for a goal and giving it our best. Sometimes it isn't what we gain, but how much we invest.

Heat Wave

2010-03-12T06:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I ran for the first time in temps above 50* and I did not like it. Ironic, because my brother kept telling me that if I could handle running in the winter months, then I would enjoy running when the weather broke. Yeah, not so much. It was HOT! I was sweating! I can only imagine what it will be like when it is 90* outside.

At least when the temperature was in the teens, the wind, snow, and cold air cooled me; I could pull off layers and get comfortable. Even though it was only 50* yesterday and there was a nice breeze coming off the lake, I was very uncomfortable, to say the least. Even my breathing was different. Most people complain about running in the bitter cold because it stings and stifles their lungs and breath; quite the opposite with me, since I started running in January. The heat (if you could call 50* hot) made me feel like I was suffocating. I couldn't get a deep enough breath and some times I was panting because it was difficult to control my breathing. But I suffered through another 50minute run! And I got some sun on my face.

Humpty Dumpty

2010-03-04T15:59:00.000-08:00

New milestone: I ran 50minutes without walking or stopping! Yay! (again, don't laugh, this is the most ever! Pathetic really.) Baby steps, right?!

I completed my first 30days of p90x. I am begining to see results more now. Before I would just notice differences in my body as I'd get dressed and feel my clothes fitting differently, but now I'm begining to see my body changing. Becoming more tone. Defined. Fit. One day (maybe) I will upload my before and after pics on the internet for all to see. (Doubtful.) I always see thousands of before and after pics and always think "Wow, how could they do that and let everyone see how they look?!", but then I think "Damn, if I looked that good I'd want everyone to see...regardless of the before pic!" Ha. We'll see, that is a long way off...

One question I always get asked is: How's your back? And surprisingly, it's good! I have not had any aches, pains, pangs, tweeks, twinges...nothing. Except the expected soreness that comes with developing muscle. Ironically, that can't hurt, right?! I think after it holding up for almost 12years, not much could do me in. (knock on wood) There is still a long road ahead, and believe me, I am very conscientious of taking care of my back, so I foresee no problems. I think this will actually improve the quality of my back...ya know what they say about having a strong front...and I'm workin' on that.

Ah! The Power Of Cheese

2010-02-22T09:18:00.000-08:00

Since I have been trying to add more protein, fruits and vegetables to my diet, I downloaded a helpful app to my iPod Touch, called MyNetDiary. It is very helpful in calculating all of the stuff that I have no idea about and gives me a nice summary of my consumption. If nothing else, I use it mainly to track daily caloric intake and glasses of water, but to also make sure that I am not over-induldging on anything or missing out on anything vital to keeping my body well fueled.

It tracks:
Meals- breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks
total calories allowed, calories eaten, calories remaining, calories per meal
daily nutrition summary with consumed vs remaining
calories, fat, sodium, carbs, fiber, sugar, protein, calcium, etc.
Exercise- calories burned
choose from their list or add your own (I did with p90x and TurboJam.)
Weight- enter (honestly)
Chart- current and target body weight
Analysis- calorie consumption and daily highlights
Water- number of glasses
Measurements- hip, waist, neck
Notes- thoughts, moods, progress
Vitamins & Meds- supplements

You can even use their on-line reference guide and print your information out for your records. And if you cannot find something that you ate in their vast food library, you can look it up (restaurants, fast food, tv dinner entrees) or if you have the nutritional information available (thank you world-wide-web), you could enter it yourself! (It even contains nutritional information for alcoholic drinks ;)

The other great app I found was Restaurant Nutrition by HealthyAndFitCommunities.com (in connection with UnifiedLifestyleManager.com). This little jem lists all of the things you don't want to know about eating out...and if you can't find a restaurant, email them; they add thousands of items to their database daily! Plus, if you find something you ate on the Restaurant Nutrition app, you could automatically connect that nutritional information to the MyNetDiary app. It's magical!

It's also what I like to call my "app for dummies" because, as I said, I have no idea about this stuff and this makes me feel like I do. A little. If I could just track the water I drink, the calories I consume, and the calories I burn; it makes me feel like I am accomplishing even more!

Speaking of accomplishments...last week I survived a 40minute run (don't laugh. that was the longest I've run, whelp, probably ever!) and a crazy 60minute FartLek (I can use that word now becasue I know what it means :) alternating between 2minute walks and 8minute runs. This week I have a 50minute run on-tap, so we'll see how that goes?! Eek.

Also this week, I will reach my 30day mark with p90x! I'm excited to photograph the results so far and then keep continuing to BrInG iT...

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

2010-02-21T19:55:00.000-08:00

I am overjoyed by the results I have been experiencing. The weight loss. The muscle gain. The definition. The feeling. The accomplishment. No complaints here.

Oh! except for one: my feet. No, they don't hurt. But it hurts to look at them! I used to have the cutest, most well shaped, proportioned feet. (Ok, except for lack of pinky toe nails and sometimes rough heels, but other than that) I had great looking feet! No more. Running has already, in this short amount of time, taken it's toll on my tootsies. Gone are the days of pretty piggies on my feet. The moisture (sweat, rain, snow) has turned them into unpleasant wrinkly, peeling, mis-shapen stinky appendages.

Flip-Flop season is right around the corner...G, I need a pedicure! Stat.

I Don't Train For Sprints

2010-02-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

Saturday marked the end of my EA Active Workouts '6 week challenge'; I lost five pounds. Again, I don't know what to contribute my success (and I use that term very loosely) to; walk/running, p90x, TurboJam, EA Active, all of the above?! Now you know why I am afraid to make adjustments in my schedule...I don't know what works or what doesn't or if it all works together?! I am going to be brave and take a week off from EA Active and resume a new program next week.

Yesterday I began tracking what I eat. And began incorporating more fruits, veggies, and protein in my diet; along with more food in general.
I had:
cereal
turkey & provolone sandwich (with a tomato!)
apple sauce (no sugar added)
special k granola bar
turkey sub (piled high with veggies and low-fat mayo)
coffee
bottled h2o
sobe life water
...much better than weeks past! Although, I have already resolved not to remove any of my favorite foods from my diet; let's not get crazy here! I will however be more conscientious about adding to my diet.

End of last week I was stressing about some of my training days, but got through them. Better than I expected even. And then I looked at what walk/runs I have scheduled for this week...Eek! I gasped. Then realized that I got through what I 'thought' was tough last week, so why should this week be any different?! It shouldn't be. It won't be. Onward.

I've been feeling results and I'm estatic! I want more! To see more results. To do more to get those results. But, as my brother reminded me "Patience and consistency are key in long term success; and long term is what we have to focus on." So, that is what I'm trying to do...even though I wanted to up my p90x workouts and double up p90x with TurboJam...I will resist the temptation and stick with the program and schedule (because it's working!) and I will not over do it! Although, I did order InSaNiTy. I couldn't resist. I figure I'll have to do something more with myself eventually. Sometime. One day.

FlashFlood

2010-02-12T20:57:00.000-08:00

Almost lost it this week. It was a rough one. (Still haven't had a breakdown yet, but came close.) For some reason, everyday was a struggle. I'm pretty sure it was my mind playing tricks on me... When my brother emailed me my training for the next few weeks, he clearly stated : "Starting to build a bit more through this phase...Lots of jumps will be made through this 4 week block" and I think that just stuck with me. Tortured me. Out of the five options I was given for this week, three really scared the bejesus out of me! (And with two days left this week, I still have two out of those three scary options left!) Even now, as I write this, I am feeling anxious about what is on tap for me this weekend. It's not that I can't do it, it's just anticipating the attempt to try to do it. One of the options that I was fearful of trying, I conquered (loathing every minute of it, but I got it done); without walking or stopping. I know I can finish out the week strong, but it is just a matter of continuing to convince myself of that.

I started reading the book on sports nutrition. In the first two chapters, I've already learned SO much and now understand better why my eating habits were freaking my sister-in-law out. I'm planning a trip to the grocery store this weekend and will begin implementing my new way of eating next week.

Also, tomorrow marks the end of my EA Active Workouts '6 week challenge'. I'm excited to see what I've accomplished (according to the Wii). Weight and all.

Make Good

2010-02-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

I read a great article in the Ohio Sports & Fitness February 2010 Keeper Issue entitled "NO EXCUSES: no time, busted gear, blah,blah,blah - Stop the excuses & improve your runs". Honestly, I haven't made an excuse yet. Haven't missed a day since I made the commitment in mid-November, but after reading the article, I don't know why I made excuses for the last fifteen years?! I could have been active this whole time. Not necessarily training for a marathon, but at least getting out there and doing something. Anything.
Better late than never.

In addition to preventing myself from making excuses regarding training, I am also trying to learn how to not make excuses when it comes to eating properly. Apparently my sister-in-law was horrified about how I am eating during training, so my brother is lending me a book on sports nutrition in order to assist in allowing me to make adjustments. (Thanks guys! Love you!) I hope to begin reading it today. I know what it will tell me. I know what I have to do. I also know it will be a challenge. But I'm up for it; heck, I am training for a marathon!

So, if you will excuse me, I have to get out for a run in the lovely 3* weather with 8" of snow on the ground (and it's still coming down), then cuddle up with a book on nutrition while sipping on h2o and eating fruit.

Psychokinesis

2010-02-04T14:51:00.000-08:00

I just cannot get my mind to look at food as fuel. With all the activities that I am participating in, I totally understand how I should eat. But I just can't get myself to do it! There is still that little voice in my head that screams at me when I want to eat something that is 'bad' for me, even though I should just be consuming calories. I'm far from eating only 'good' things or enough things, but this is just one hurdle I cannot get over.
I'm not even looking for a 'diet' or a 'plan', I'm just trying to convince myself to eat more. To eat more small meals throughout the day. More protein. More fruits and veggies. Oh! And to eat breakfast. ...but after my morning cup 'o joe, I'm full. Some days I make myself eat a bowl of cereal or oatmeal because I know I should, but other days (most days), I just skip it.
Which brings me to another problem; being so active (for some reason), makes me less hungry. So in addition to trying to eat better and eat more often, sometimes I have to simply remind myself to eat! Weird, because I'm Italian, I love to eat! And eat everything. Anything.
I'm not worried about the scale anymore (white lie) because I realize that I am building muscle, which weighs more than fat, but I worry that if I let myself graze all day (whether it's 'healthy' or 'bad' for me), I will lose control. I cannot do things in moderation; I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl...which is why I went from being a hibernating bear for the last fifteen years to training for a marathon...
Therefore, I must teach myself to eat, similarly to the way I am training to run a marathon.
Easier said than done.
Snapshot of how erratic I was this week:
Monday - Turkey w/ provolone sandwich, five prunes, 100 calorie pack of cheese crackers with peanut butter, pretzels
Tuesday - pretzels, Arby's
Wednesday - grab bag of Doritos, Ramen Noodles, fruit cup, five prunes, grab bag of Doritos
Thursday - bowl of cereal, garden salad with two chicken breasts, pretzels
On the bright side, I'm doing great with drinking plenty of water and Vitamin Water 10! Ha.

Davy Jones' Locker

2010-01-31T21:02:00.000-08:00

My TurboJam class always ends with a cool-down accompanied by relaxing music. The first time I attended the class, the hour ended with the soothing sounds of the ocean. Since then, I have been obsessed; I even put the wave-crashing sounds on my iPod Touch. Now instead of listening to an album with a good beat while I'm out on the trails, I've been running to the rhythm of the high seas. It's been invigorating! Surprisingly, it keeps me calm, helps with my breathing, concentration, and allows me to run with a more clear head. I've even added thunderstorms and rainfalls to my musical library!
I never thought that I would be interested in this type of New Age music, but it is so mind-mellowing, that I try to end each day by listening to the sounds of the swells. I may even try meditation.

Does that sound crazy?! I'll tell you what is crazy. Me. The last few days, I have been crabby. And crabby for no reason. (Poor Bill.) I needed to get my crazy out and was excited to run today. I was looking forward to it all day, thinking it would improve my mood. And it did! I came back after about 45min and felt rejuvenated. I even ran longer than I was scheduled because I was really enjoying myself and how I was feeling. I never thought I'd see the day that running would be a joy. A release. An outlet. Even when I took on this journey, I didn't think that I would end up liking running. But I do. I like it. I really like it!

note to self: remember that you 'like' running as training continues...Ha.

Savasana

2010-01-29T19:36:00.001-08:00

Before the WiiFit, I have never done Yoga. I really like doing it. The stretch. The relaxing. The way it works on my posture. I feel the effects and the benefits.
...And then there is p90x Yoga X...I do it because I have to. Out of the 92minutes, the first 50minutes is torture. I sweat. I shake. I can barely keep up as they move from one pose into another. Quickly. Gracefully. And to stretch, bend and pose to the extent that they do? Forgetaboutit.
But I try. Each time I tell myself that I am going to give 110%. That I am going to do whatever I physically can to mirror their movements. I start off strong each time, but as the minutes tick by, and I find that I am much less flexible than they, I loose my drive. I begin to just go through the motions. Until the last 42minutes, which is more strength and stability; I rock that!
The next time I attempt to slay this monster is next Saturday. I'll be ready. I'm going to use my WiiFit Yoga to practice and I will conquer Yoga X.
...or you will find me in child's pose or the fetal pose...let's hope it doesn't come to that!

Metamorphosis

2010-01-27T19:47:00.000-08:00

Walking 60minutes was on-tap for today. It was 23*, but "felt like" 11* when I stepped outside, but it was sunny! :) I figured after yesterday's torture test, I would make today strickly a walking day. No running.

...and I missed it. I missed it? Yeah, I missed it! I missed the alarm going off on my BlackBerry, alerting me to switch between walking and running. (No stop-watch or fancy Garmin Forerunner here, just a $2.99 app.) I missed the running. The breathing. The way my body feels. The way the wind stings my face and burns my eyes as I run along the lakeshore. The sense of accomplishment. The simple pleasure in knowing that, I ran.

My brother wrote me a fantastic email explaining the process a mind and body undergoes when 'learning' how to run. It made sense. And made me feel better. I understand it takes time, lots of time. Takes adjusting. Takes repetition, repetition, repetition.
...and like Tony (p90x) says, "Rome wasn't built in a day!" I'm trying to be patient. Trying to listen to my body. Trying to take it a day at at time.

But I want to be able to run. Run far. ...and run faster than I am now!

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”

Steam Engine

2010-01-26T19:54:00.000-08:00

I sat down tonight and started typing everything I could so I wouldn't have to write what I really needed to get off my chest. I started to write about a book I read. Then about a typical training week for me. Then about how I haven't actually officially registered for the marathon yet.
Then I realized that I write this blog for me. I type this out so I can get things out. So I can move on...
Today I went to the park to test myself and see if I could run three miles. Up until today, I have only been running according to the clock. (walk 10min, run 20min, walk 10min, etc.) Today I ran against the mile markers. Never once did I think, "I can do this". Never did I think, "three miles, that's nothing". Instead I thought "I will do this. I will get through this. I will finish. I will not walk. I will not stop. I will run (jog) three miles." And I DID!!! It was the LONGEST forty-six (yep forty-six) minutes of my life! But, I did it! (I don't know if I'm still going to committ to the 5k I have my eye on in February, but we'll see?!) And I could make excuses 1)the first and third mile were up and down hill. 2)the trails were slippery...etc. Or I could look at it from a whole other perspective 1)I have only been 'training' since November. 2)Prior to November, I haven't been active since high school. 3)three miles brings me closer to 26.2 miles. 4)What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger...etc. And when I got back to my car, I could have cried, but I laughed. (Actually I started laughing uncontrollably as soon as my car came into sight!) I laughed because I was relieved! Happy! Proud! And maybe even a little crazy?! But I felt good. I felt great! (I did freak out a little bit, but I got over it, because I realized that today I took one more (baby) step towards my goal. How could I be upset about that?)
I was going to ignore this (embarassing) moment in my training and I was going to go on and on about all the other aspects of my training, but THIS is an aspect of my training. If I don't put this out there, then how can I get past it? How can I get anywhere?
The other reason I did this was for Tony (p90x). He must have known I had a bad day, because he kept talking about 'ego' and 'checking your ego' and 'not being afraid' while we were working on our shoulders and arms. (Which I dominated, to make up for my time in the park.) And my ego and I are not afraid to say that I can barely run three miles because in a hundred and nine days (eek!) my ego and I will have (barely) run 26.2 miles!

High / Low

2010-01-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

All of our lives, we are told "Don't believe everything you hear". And now I'm supposed to believe everyone when they tell me "You can do this!". That is NOT an easy thing to do.

I know that distance running is partly mental, but I also know that the mind can play tricks. I know that I should be positive. I know I should be proud of how far I've come already. I know that I should believe that I can do this. But...

Some days are great! I'm up and ready to go and can't stop! Constantly looking for another workout to add to my schedule... Other days, it takes everything I have just to workout for a half hour, let alone walk/run and p90x and TurboJam!

I am seeing results. The number on the scale has gone down. My arms are becoming more defined. My legs are getting toner. I can run longer without sounding like I'm hyperventilating AND having an asthma attack at the same time. More importantly, I put on an old pair of jeans that I used to have to lay down, suck it in, try not to zip up anything 'sensitive', and wear all night by not breathing - and now they fit! Comfortably!!! That alone could keep me motivated. But, then my mind wanders...and I won't even express the filthy, nasty, mean, degrading thoughts that take over and start talkin' dirty to me. I have yet (I did say yet) to have a breakdown. Rarely will I tear up on a run, but if/when I do, then I just chalk it up to the fierce and blustery Lake Erie winds.

"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty. I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led diffcult lives and led them well." - Theodore Roosevelt

I get it. Believe me, I get it. I'll take the good-with-the-bad, because I would not have thought to challenge myself like this, if I thought I could just skate though and get skinny, tone, fit, active.
I knew it was going to be hard. I knew I was going to have to committ. I knew I would be pushing myself.
And...I know it will get harder before it gets easier. I know that my committment will not waiver. I know that I will continue to push myself.
Because I want this.

Bubble Trouble

2010-01-24T20:22:00.000-08:00

There are somethings I don't like to do alone; eat at a restaurant, go to a movie, or enter a bar to wait for someone. I give people that do, credit. Then again, I didn't think I'd like TurboJam because (even though it's all women) there are other people there. (I know I just contradicted myself :) But, when I workout with someone else, I feel the friendly competition that brews between us. We silently push each other to get though. And it has been rewarding.

My friend (let's call her G) has been working out with me as much as her schedule permits; and I have to tell you that when she's not there, I don't feel like I am giving 110%. I don't feel like I am pushing myself or being pushed. Sure we giggle. We make fun of Tony (p90x), ourselves, and each other, but we get the job done. We encourage each other. Motivate each other. And correct each other. Each wanting the other to succeed! Some nights, if it weren't for knowing that we had a time planned to work out, I don't know if I would or not. The buddy system really works!

Now here is where the problem lies...my other friend (let's call her Andrea) is ten years younger than me and is very active. She goes to TurboJam, walks, runs, bikes, and works out. This past summer we would bike together (funny story about our ride uphill to Euclid Ave, but I'll save that embarassing story for another time) and she has been offering her time to walk/run with me. Even suggested participating in a few 5ks before the big marathon. Confession time: Friend or not, I am afraid of not keeping up. Believe me, I went to the park for weeks before I would run through my neighborhood because I "don't want people watching me run". My husband pointed out that I'd be running a marathon with other people while people were watching. And I get that. I'm just not ready for that. I am in such a fragile place right now, that I fear not being able to keep up with her will be bring me down from my high. Even though I know the buddy system works, I can't bring myself to allow her to join me for a run. Walk? Sure. Run. No. At least not yet... So will I be able to run a 5k in the beginning of February? The middle of February? I better do something about this before May 16th!

Step Back

2010-01-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

Year after year, I have made false promises to myself. Not this year! Well, not end of last year. On November 11th, 2009, I had had enough with myself. A few weeks prior, I had read that a woman that I went to high school with, was training to run a marathon...and a lightbulb went on in my head! She is 33, like me. A first time runner, like me. An inspiration.

Prior to this revelation, the only other motivation I've ever had, was my wedding day. For months prior, I lived on lettuce and SlimFast. I weighed 100# soaking wet when I walked down the aisle. I knew I was too skinny, but at that point all I cared about was what I had accomplished. Since then I've told myself every year "Get in shape! You have to wear a bathing suit." That did nothing for me. I either went the summer without wearing one, or I was in another state surrounded by strangers and just didn't care. (Didn't care enough to do anything, that is.)

The years since my wedding day haven't been cruel; I'm not over-weight, I'm just not the weight I want to be...but more importantly, I'm not in the shape I want to be. I'm not fit. I'm not tone.

I needed something to kick my a$$ into gear! Something that would motivate me as much as my wedding day did. I needed to committ! I needed help. And support.

I first contacted (let's call this 33 year old, first time running, pen-pal of mine) Michele and asked her a hundred and one questions about her motivation, training, progress...and she was happy to fill me in on her journey. I must have filled her inbox a half dozen times before I realized that I too could train for a marathon! What a great idea! A crazy idea! Could I actually do it?! I told my husband my idea. I said "Don't laugh, but I am very unhappy with myself. My body. And the way I feel about myself...and my body." I cried. He hugged me and said, "I love you! I will love you no matter what. If this will make you feel better, then do it! I want you to be just as happy with yourself as I am with you." And then he laughed. We both did!

I spoke with my brother next. Since he is a crazy, avid runner and has been forever; I knew I would need his help, support, and guidance. I said "Don't laugh, but I am very unhappy with myself. My body. And the way I feel about myself...and my body. Nothing motivates me. Nothing makes me want to better myself. I think I want to train to run a marathon. Do you think I could do it?" I cried. What else would he say but, "You could do it." So he was on board as my coach.

The next day, I already felt better about myself.

I had a goal. A plan. A program. And support. I was accountable to more than just myself and that is what I really needed...a push.

Since then, I have signed up for a TurboJam class. ME. In a class. In public. With other people. This was HUGE for me! (Even more so than deciding to train for a marathon.) My friend (let's call her) Andrea had been going to 'Jam for a couple of weeks and suggested I tag along. I did. And I fell in love with the class. I don't know how she got me to go, but I'm glad she did!

In addition to TurboJam 3 nights a week, I am also tackling P90X 4 days a week, EA Active Workouts 4 days a week, and walk/running 5 days a week. I know, it's a lot, but I am an all-or-nothing kind of gal and have always had a problem with 'in moderation'. So for now, this works for me. It gets me going and keeps me going. (I'm even thinking of adding Yoga and Zumba to the schedule?!)

My intentions for this blog are unclear. I just feel that after being in 'training' for several weeks, I needed somewhere more than just the notepad that records my daily workouts, to express where I came from and where I want to see myself go. I want a happier. Toner. More fit. Me.